Saturday, 29 March 2014

Mind Fucks - 50 Shades Of Fear

Somebody started a discussion about mind fucks, in the end it turned out that he didn't mean a mind fuck in a scene, fear play, but mental domination in the form of using female wiles, turned out he meant more obedience training or behaviour modification.

Of course I misunderstood terribly and gave examples of mind fucks in scenes, which is something I just love.

Now let me use a disclaimer first, in a relationship, mind fucks have no place, I would find them wrong, dishonest, manipulative and just fairly disgusting. Not that I am super moralistic, but I'm simply too freaking lazy to pretend, what you see is what you get, it's fairly easy, nobody needs to waste time. If you don't like what you see, well, move on, I'm not right for you and honestly, I just can't be bothered to wear a mask and pretend to be somebody I'm not. Far too much effort and I'm a lazy bitch. I'm not above a snark and sometimes follow it up with a bite that takes out a chunk, call it my personal charm...

In a relationship, I don't want to play cloak and dagger, I want to be able to take somebody at face value, and that's it. I can deal with people who tell me I'm an a-hole, great, we got that out of the way, we don't need to pretend we're best friends, we can avoid each other and be civil, cool beans. What I can't stand is the fake friendliness (the one big complaint I have about LA - apart from the traffic jams).
The funny thing is, people tend to like me or hate me, and hey, that's cool with me! As long as I know where I stand, really no issue...

But back to mind fucks, in a scene, yeah, I do love them because they are fun and I can get off on the fear. I actually had a talk about some of the mind fucks I did with H, and apart from cringing and yelling "Shit, I had no idea what a sadist you are - don't ever do that with me, go and find somebody who gets off on it, I don't mind, but no, no fucking way..." (which made me laugh) he giggled like a girl and almost wet his pants.

It was actually his idea about a blog entry about the mind fucks, he even suggested a book, but hey, another book the world doesn't need...

So here we go, most of it happened during the time I was pro-domming, and no harm was done.

So while working in a commercial dungeon part time (I always got my kink on on Saturdays or Sundays, sure I'm going to hell for that one, which is great so I'll meet all my friends again and I'm much more of a warm weather person anyway), we had this particularly annoying caller who told us that nobody can break him, we're all just fakers. Business was slow due to it being the Easter weekend, so I suggested a free session, not thinking the guy would show up, surprise, he did (yeah, a freebe can do that to people), I hadn't really had it thought through, so I needed to improvise.

Hot iron (as in clothes iron) plugged in, the guy strapped down face down, I told him that I will brand him with the iron and that will break him, he started sweating and yelling about dangers, so I put a gag into his mouth, made a big show about checking the heat of the iron by spitting on my finger and putting the finger on the iron, sizzling sound. Told him I have to wait until it's red hot so make sure the brand would last, frantic muffled yelling. Me slapping a blindfold on him, sitting on top of him and telling my colleague to check the iron again. Again sizzling sound, what little twerp didn't know, we had a packet of fish fingers in the freezer (actually shame that it wasn't vanilla ice cream, that would have been just too ironic) and after flogging him a bit and treating him with a whip and deep heat (fucking marvellous invention, love it, so many evil ways to use it), his shoulders were on fire anyway. We put the frozen fish fingers on briefly, while my colleague threw some cut off fingernails into a candle, terrible stink, guy almost passed out. We had great fun taking the piss out of him and how some frozen fish fingers broke him - he never called again, the boring Easter Sunday shift had a comedic value...

Next one was in another dungeon, great white room (white rooms are medical rooms) with a sky light, OB gyn chair and all the trimmings. Never been so super keen on medical scenes but always like scrotal inflations, a bit of electrical and stuff, and the cool white can make a nice contrast to a sizzling hot (even without an iron) scene, but in general, I do prefer a room with spanking benches, crosses and all that, that's just my lil old perverted self...

So anyway, this guy came regularly every 8 weeks, always wanted to have a castration role play, and ALWAYS complained that it was not realistic enough. I was torn between telling him to eff off and a desire to make it real. It became almost an obsession, and finally I had enough...

A friend of mine had an electric knife, as in kinky electrostimulation knife, in short it's an electric device that feels like you're being cut, but you aren't... Along with borrowing that knife (dreadfully expensive though) came a trip to a halal butcher, to purchase lambs testicles and fresh blood.
Client came, wanted the castration role play again, bitching that hopefully this time it would be more realistic, blah blah... Oh fuck, would I let him have it!

Microwave and heat up the blood, put it into a thermos and hide it, has to be warm enough, hide the lambs testicles under the OB gyn chair, take the mirrors away (don't want him to see the slight of hand), put some deep heat (Finalgon works well, water based) ready as it will increase the pain by making the nerve endings more sensitive, mask the smell with tea tree oil (nice medical smell).

Put him into the chair, went through the usual "preparation" and "talk" about him being a rapist and we will sterilize him in prison, secured him in the chair, a bit of the usual play before and a few needles through the skin, showing him the scalpel, quickly exchanging it under the chair for the electric knife, he was screaming in pain, I pretended to be pissed off and yelled "Shut off or I really do it" and just telling him I had enough with him playing pretend, electric knife, him screaming in pain and convulsing, while I poured the warmed up blood over his lower regions and the lamb testicles and then held them up yelling "So is that realistic enough, you stupid fuck, you pushed me too far..." 

Yeah, it was fucking realistic, he wouldn't stop screaming for ages, despite me yelling at him to check, he still got the family jewels, everything in place, it was just realistic...

I actually had to slap him (with my bloody gloves, which made him scream more) and it took a good while to calm him down. Fucking idiot, really, I mean lambs testicles tend to be a lot bigger than your average human testicles (and trust me, I have seen my fair share of them) and without being mean, this guy didn't have stones, he had pebbles as in pebble dash. No way those things could ever have been his.

Yeah, we lost a regular, guess he finally got as realistic as he wanted... What can I say, even Dommes sometimes aim to please...

Now there was also this guy who wanted to be dominated by a drunk and out of control Domme, something that I just wouldn't ever entertain doing, but hey, using cheap booze as a mouth wash, a cognac soaked tissue in my bra, slurring my speech and stumbling a bit... I leave you guessing, let's just say it involved a strapon and a piece of raw liver that I had hidden somewhere and put and placed at the end of a strapon after pounding him at the strategically right moment...

Fuck yeah, I do like a good mind fuck.... Anybody feeling a bit queasy?

And yes, for years my sig line used to be "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, in unexpected ways..."

Awww, sometimes I do miss pro-domming... And yeah, I might be a sadistic bitch, but I don't want to maim anybody - well, most of the time ;)