Sunday, 28 October 2012

Gossip Gossip...

I recently had a conversation with somebody who wondered about gossip in the scene, well yeah, of course there is, but guys wondering that their secrets get out - ehhh, not really so much.

Think about it this way, a domme does kinky stuff all day long, I'm not being mean here, but if you think that because you come in for a spanking or a whipping, maybe a bit of foot worship, you want a transformation, it's earth shattering for us, it isn't, it's really "business as usual" and hardly worth talking about. I mean imagine a bunch of professionals, think they are talking about stuff that's pretty run of the mill? You have to be pretty out there to warrant being the subject of conversation.

One of the examples that came up in conversation was me coming out of a session and another domme who was on shift asked how it was, I told her that it was fine and pretty normal, that was the whole conversation, then I went to make myself a cup of coffee and catch my breath, before I attended the clean up and sterilization of the room. While I was sipping my coffee, the thought crossed my mind what a vanilla person would think about it... Basically the guy had a massive scrotal inflation (the good old saline), then a bit of boot worship, then a whipping where he was strung up upside down and sang "Always look on the bright side of life". You tell a vanilla person that it was an easy session and not really shocking and I would like to see their faces, but for a domme, that's it basically. To be mentioned, you have to be pretty hardcore, pretty disgusting or pretty funny, so yeah, the guy who farted throughout the session, we did gossip about him. Mainly just telling the "lucky" domme he decided to see that day to have the ventilation set on high (yeah, his farts were pretty pungent), or the guy who had really really unpleasant BO and didn't tend to shower regularly and usually declined the offer to shower. The way to go was to suggest a prison role play and hose him down in the wet room...

Yeah, when it comes to our nostrils and evil smelling clients, we have to be pretty tricky ;)

Yes, there is gossip and there are always clients who we gossip about, not in terms of who they are (trust me, we really aren't all that interested in your private lives, clients tend to be far more obsessed with dommes than the other way round - to put it bluntly, we do enjoy BDSM but if we had our choice we possibly would rather play with somebody who's clean, a bit less demanding, less topping from the bottom, less having an agenda and who plays with us when we want to play, how we want to play and not when you want to play - bitter truth), but more in "How freaking unreasonable was he? Last minute session and he wants a setup that would take a long time..." or you want "extras" - that gets you talked about and not in a good way, also claiming somebody gave you extras, it basically makes sure that nobody gives them to you, because you already have shown yourself to be indiscreet... See how it works?

Also be aware that if you come and you want a referral (not a problem at all) and it's a domme I am friends with, I will give her pointers to what you like and what she should avoid, but in general, out of session we don't obsess about you, that includes obsessive gossip. Sorry if that comes as a surprise to you, but most of us have a life outside of the dungeon, about 90% of all dommes have regular jobs and relationships. Yeah, kills the idea that we live BDSM 24/7 or that we are Goddesses who sit on slave furniture, munching sweets all day long a slave presents us on his knees - if we would be, we'd be so grossly obese that you guys wouldn't want to see us anyway.

Most of us are freaking busy with our own lives, in average we see between 5 and 10 clients a week if we work part time, half of the money from that goes into dungeon rent and transport, from the rest of it we pay for our advertising, fetish wardrobe, cleaning supplies and all that. Add to that a regular job, a relationship, a bit of a social life and then figure out where you belong there...

What makes me laugh is the whole cloak and dagger game a lot of clients have, you know fake names and all that, cool, not an issue (as I mentioned, we aren't so keen to marry you so we really don't want to know who you are) and then you send us a mail from your work account. DUHHHH

Seriously, please do not do that, because we do not want to know, we are possibly even more worried than you are that some administrator will intercept your work mail and because he has a horrible day will cause trouble for us because he can, especially in the US. And even in Europe, where it is not illegal, anybody getting busted in a divorce case for seeing a domme, you wanna bet that it's not his face gracing the tabloids, it's the domme's face...

Give me one good reason why a domme would want a client busted? The moment she's "outed" or even involved in something that is not her fault (say a client who embezzled - it will be her being dragged through the mud though she had no clue about it, sex sells and kinky sex titillates and sells even better - Max Mosley anybody?) nobody will see her anymore.

Guys, trust me, as long as you show up clean, you're not unreasonable in session, you can call yourself Genghis Khan and we won't bat an eyelid. Almost every domme had the odd celebrity client (yeah guess what, those guys are kinky too) and it's NOT great, just because we're aware that if he gets busted, we're in it too and celebs are much more likely to be followed by paps than Joe Average...