Mind Fucks - 50 Shades Of Fear

Somebody started a discussion about mind fucks, in the end it turned out that he didn't mean a mind fuck in a scene, fear play, but mental domination in the form of using female wiles, turned out he meant more obedience training or behaviour modification.

Of course I misunderstood terribly and gave examples of mind fucks in scenes, which is something I just love.

Now let me use a disclaimer first, in a relationship, mind fucks have no place, I would find them wrong, dishonest, manipulative and just fairly disgusting. Not that I am super moralistic, but I'm simply too freaking lazy to pretend, what you see is what you get, it's fairly easy, nobody needs to waste time. If you don't like what you see, well, move on, I'm not right for you and honestly, I just can't be bothered to wear a mask and pretend to be somebody I'm not. Far too much effort and I'm a lazy bitch. I'm not above a snark and sometimes follow it up with a bite that takes out a chunk, call it my personal charm...

In a relationship, I don't want to play cloak and dagger, I want to be able to take somebody at face value, and that's it. I can deal with people who tell me I'm an a-hole, great, we got that out of the way, we don't need to pretend we're best friends, we can avoid each other and be civil, cool beans. What I can't stand is the fake friendliness (the one big complaint I have about LA - apart from the traffic jams).
The funny thing is, people tend to like me or hate me, and hey, that's cool with me! As long as I know where I stand, really no issue...

But back to mind fucks, in a scene, yeah, I do love them because they are fun and I can get off on the fear. I actually had a talk about some of the mind fucks I did with H, and apart from cringing and yelling "Shit, I had no idea what a sadist you are - don't ever do that with me, go and find somebody who gets off on it, I don't mind, but no, no fucking way..." (which made me laugh) he giggled like a girl and almost wet his pants.

It was actually his idea about a blog entry about the mind fucks, he even suggested a book, but hey, another book the world doesn't need...

So here we go, most of it happened during the time I was pro-domming, and no harm was done.

So while working in a commercial dungeon part time (I always got my kink on on Saturdays or Sundays, sure I'm going to hell for that one, which is great so I'll meet all my friends again and I'm much more of a warm weather person anyway), we had this particularly annoying caller who told us that nobody can break him, we're all just fakers. Business was slow due to it being the Easter weekend, so I suggested a free session, not thinking the guy would show up, surprise, he did (yeah, a freebe can do that to people), I hadn't really had it thought through, so I needed to improvise.

Hot iron (as in clothes iron) plugged in, the guy strapped down face down, I told him that I will brand him with the iron and that will break him, he started sweating and yelling about dangers, so I put a gag into his mouth, made a big show about checking the heat of the iron by spitting on my finger and putting the finger on the iron, sizzling sound. Told him I have to wait until it's red hot so make sure the brand would last, frantic muffled yelling. Me slapping a blindfold on him, sitting on top of him and telling my colleague to check the iron again. Again sizzling sound, what little twerp didn't know, we had a packet of fish fingers in the freezer (actually shame that it wasn't vanilla ice cream, that would have been just too ironic) and after flogging him a bit and treating him with a whip and deep heat (fucking marvellous invention, love it, so many evil ways to use it), his shoulders were on fire anyway. We put the frozen fish fingers on briefly, while my colleague threw some cut off fingernails into a candle, terrible stink, guy almost passed out. We had great fun taking the piss out of him and how some frozen fish fingers broke him - he never called again, the boring Easter Sunday shift had a comedic value...

Next one was in another dungeon, great white room (white rooms are medical rooms) with a sky light, OB gyn chair and all the trimmings. Never been so super keen on medical scenes but always like scrotal inflations, a bit of electrical and stuff, and the cool white can make a nice contrast to a sizzling hot (even without an iron) scene, but in general, I do prefer a room with spanking benches, crosses and all that, that's just my lil old perverted self...

So anyway, this guy came regularly every 8 weeks, always wanted to have a castration role play, and ALWAYS complained that it was not realistic enough. I was torn between telling him to eff off and a desire to make it real. It became almost an obsession, and finally I had enough...

A friend of mine had an electric knife, as in kinky electrostimulation knife, in short it's an electric device that feels like you're being cut, but you aren't... Along with borrowing that knife (dreadfully expensive though) came a trip to a halal butcher, to purchase lambs testicles and fresh blood.
Client came, wanted the castration role play again, bitching that hopefully this time it would be more realistic, blah blah... Oh fuck, would I let him have it!

Microwave and heat up the blood, put it into a thermos and hide it, has to be warm enough, hide the lambs testicles under the OB gyn chair, take the mirrors away (don't want him to see the slight of hand), put some deep heat (Finalgon works well, water based) ready as it will increase the pain by making the nerve endings more sensitive, mask the smell with tea tree oil (nice medical smell).

Put him into the chair, went through the usual "preparation" and "talk" about him being a rapist and we will sterilize him in prison, secured him in the chair, a bit of the usual play before and a few needles through the skin, showing him the scalpel, quickly exchanging it under the chair for the electric knife, he was screaming in pain, I pretended to be pissed off and yelled "Shut off or I really do it" and just telling him I had enough with him playing pretend, electric knife, him screaming in pain and convulsing, while I poured the warmed up blood over his lower regions and the lamb testicles and then held them up yelling "So is that realistic enough, you stupid fuck, you pushed me too far..." 

Yeah, it was fucking realistic, he wouldn't stop screaming for ages, despite me yelling at him to check, he still got the family jewels, everything in place, it was just realistic...

I actually had to slap him (with my bloody gloves, which made him scream more) and it took a good while to calm him down. Fucking idiot, really, I mean lambs testicles tend to be a lot bigger than your average human testicles (and trust me, I have seen my fair share of them) and without being mean, this guy didn't have stones, he had pebbles as in pebble dash. No way those things could ever have been his.

Yeah, we lost a regular, guess he finally got as realistic as he wanted... What can I say, even Dommes sometimes aim to please...

Now there was also this guy who wanted to be dominated by a drunk and out of control Domme, something that I just wouldn't ever entertain doing, but hey, using cheap booze as a mouth wash, a cognac soaked tissue in my bra, slurring my speech and stumbling a bit... I leave you guessing, let's just say it involved a strapon and a piece of raw liver that I had hidden somewhere and put and placed at the end of a strapon after pounding him at the strategically right moment...

Fuck yeah, I do like a good mind fuck.... Anybody feeling a bit queasy?

And yes, for years my sig line used to be "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, in unexpected ways..."

Awww, sometimes I do miss pro-domming... And yeah, I might be a sadistic bitch, but I don't want to maim anybody - well, most of the time ;)

Kinky Valentine's Day

I want a Valentine's gift from you, seriously, I'm going all demanding domme on you, please me, do something for me!

Go on, I really really want something!

An animal charity here in the UK was badly hit by the storms and the rain, they had to move the horses they have rescued and rented stables, the hay, straw and feed they had is gone, and it about cleaned them out. I know them really well because I occasionally fostered a dog for them, they are great people who have day jobs and use their own money to support the animals (one of them works at night as a nurse and by day looks after the animals, they don't pay themselves wages like some other charities do where more goes to supporting the life-style of a CEO than to the animals), they are a registered charity, not some scam outfit. I basically put the link everywhere, on my twitter, FB, even LinkedIn. I am just trying to help them spread it, in the hope they might get the odd donation. Doesn't matter if you can't afford to give them anything, if you're putting the link out and ask friends to do the same, there might be somebody who sees it who can afford to put the odd $ or 2 in.

And even if you read that some time later, just share the link, it's OK if you can't donate (but if you can, I am really really grateful to you, even if it is just $1 or £1), if you want something from me, send me a message and if I can I will do it, Skype session, no fucking problem, you're in the UK and want your ass spanked, whipped, beaten, I will do it, I'll send you socks, pantyhoses, stockings, underwear if that's what you're into.

Let me know what you want to read about and I'll write about it, I promise.

Just fucking help them out! PLEASE!

Please spread that link through your social media, nobody will know or care if comes from a vanilla or a kink account. Nobody knows you got it from here. I hammered the shit out of it through my kink network, my private vanilla network, my work network, that is more vanilla than you can imagine!

Just please, do it!

A very undomly PRETTY PLEASE?

http://tinyurl.com/on992ct

It's not Dungeon and Dragons, Sparky

Let me start this off with the disclaimer, that I am not having a rant at male dominants, there are some really great Doms out there, with some of them I'm friends, but some of them (and oddly enough a higher percentage than you find with women) are a few planks short of a full tree house.

On one of the boards where I sometimes look and occasionally participate, there is a guy who complains that in 22 years he hasn't found a slave and it's all down to fakes and he's discriminated because he's disabled.

Every sympathy for somebody who is disabled, definitely doesn't make it easier for him, but even if he was able bodied, what he's looking for is simply unrealistic.

The guy is gay (nothing wrong with it), has a preference for black men (again, we all have preferences and what we are attracted to), so far so good.

Only then he decides he doesn't want just one slave, he wants several of them, his own personal little harem and how he is living the Master/slave life-style not just in the bedroom, and that's where I want to shake him and have a reality check, and go "Sorry dear, but you are not really LIVING the life-style, you're dreaming it, big big difference!"

So, somebody without any experience is declaring himself an experienced Master and complains that slaves aren't lining up around the block. Well, what a surprise that is, really....

It gets better, he also has certain expectations of the jobs the slaves should have, nothing dramatic, really, just your run of the mill, not quite college drop out jobs:

• Programmers


• Database Designers


• CAD Designers


• Animators


• Illustrators


• Editors/proofreader/scriptwriters

Apart from handing over their salaries, using their job skills for him too, they also have to do household chores and gardening.

I read through his journal and I really understand why he needs a proofreader, it was hard going (btw nobody is "dominate" you can be dominant, one of my pet peeves), but it really looks like he is living in some weird fantasy land, some drivel about being the leader of a pack of wolves, with all his slaves (so far non-existant) being his 2nd line of defense.

I copy and paste part of the journal entry:


I  think the following passage about myself speaks for itself which is taken from a note I sent to an acquaintance recently.  I felt I had to share it here.

"As I build my company I want my project team to be a tight pack, but not constricted by creativity.  I want them to be passionate about what I want. Recently I had to do a paper on a leader as it relates to my college program (database management) and  what I wanted professionally. I wound up choosing Larry Ellison (Oracle fame) and found I hated him very much for his professionalism - or lack there of.  I never want to become this type of corporate owner.

YES I am dominate,

YES I know what I want,

YES I want a second line pack following behind me like a pack of defensive wolves,

BUT NO, I do not have to be a selfish pompous jerk about it."

That was actually some of the sanest drivel he put in there, it's nice to dream about a business empire, but if you're living of social security, maybe the first move would be to do something that makes you able to support yourself.
Yes, disability makes it harder, but the idea of finding a bunch of slaves who will all work for him for free, is not really based in reality, and so far it hasn't worked for him. And he does sound like a selfish, pompous jerk.

We all know what we want, I really want to win the damned lottery (maybe I should start playing then), I really want mansions all over the planet in all my fave cities, that private plane, the cosy little castle, my own private island (hello Mr Branson, how about Necker Island?), gosh, I guess I am not "dominate" enough for it, because in the meantime, I'm still working, because the damned mortgage for the house needs to be paid off.

Oh well, a great deal of people aren't too well adjusted or don't play with a full deck of cards, I guess it's really unrealistic to expect everybody who's into BDSM to be in touch with reality...


Btw a pretty good example of how it can be different is this erotic photo blog, it shows how BDSM can be a loving relationship and that not all Doms are a bit "mentally challenged":

Downright Debauchery

Why are there....

So I opened up my FL again and guess what, yeah, there is a long rambling letter with a laundry list of what I can do to a guy for "my pleasure" and then he complains about pro dommes and life-style dommes, the former ones are all greedy whores (according to him) and the latter are mostly fat, old and unattractive (again according to him) and since he considers me not too fat, too old (duh, thought I set my profile to 86 to not attract them) or too unattractive (wonder how he can tell since all he sees is a leather corset) he decided to write me and offer himself. OH LUCKY ME...

I know it's not easy to find a life-style domme, possibly not even for casual play, but it's also not easy to find a girlfriend or a kinky girlfriend, sitting at your computer and typing with one hand won't make it easier.

First impressions count, if you come across like a whiny little cry-baby, feeling sorry for yourself and telling me how hard it is, I have an impression of you, that impression isn't flattering.

If you think you flatter me by talking nasty about other women - think again, you come over as a classless, mean spirited little creep.

So you talk about serving me, but then you have this long list of what you want me to do to you, hey, if I go for a massage, I usually pay because the massage therapist is providing a service, so if you want your ass caned, it's nothing else, spare me the "for my pleasure".

Oh yeah, and don't bemoan the fact that there are so many big women in BDSM, guess what, a lot of big women around, if you don't like them look the other way. Nobody says you have to find them attractive but if you bitch about them being there, then let me bitch about needy little creeps...

Actually, it's a bunch of wasted keystrokes, said all before

http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

We’re not a sub species…

We’re not a sub species…

I broached that before http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/dommes-escorts-and-everything-in-between.html and I possibly shouldn’t harp on about it, but I made the mistake of looking at MF again and reading some old posts…

Guys, I don’t care what you are into, if you like going to a strip club, seeing Dommes, maybe seeing escorts, I honestly don’t care, as long as the women don’t mind what they’re doing, I’m for one don’t mind their choice of work. I don’t believe in female superiority (unless it’s for a really hot role play), I believe in equality, I believe in freedom of choice in every way of life, that includes not dictating women what they can do with their bodies, and if a woman doesn’t mind being a porn star, an escort, a stripper, an adult model, a domme, then why on earth should I mind?

What I do mind, and I fucking mind it  A LOT, is the attitude most people have when it comes to women in the adult industry, the “We’re not a sub species” isn’t a line I came up with, somebody said it and I can’t get it out of my head, maybe because it resonates so well?

Look, whenever you purchase a service from anybody in the adult industry, no matter what, remember you’re still dealing with a human being, a woman, somebody’s daughter, sister, possibly mother – so how would you like some stranger treating your relative? Treat her the same way, I don’t care what service she is selling, she still deserves some human decency. If you think she doesn’t deserve it because you pay, then think about it this way: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS TO PAY! Maybe you should be damned better be grateful that they are out there, because your money can’t get your dick as hard as the woman can. So just show her some decency and respect! She's not a disposable item!

You know, no matter what we do in the adult industry, we're going through enough shit as it is, with clients falling in love or mad stalkers there are tons of other things, just go through the blog, maybe I should order it by themes. It would be kind of nice to be also recognized as human beings, not just a disposable item.  

End of soap box rant!

Aftercare

So you are having a session and you are flying high on endorphins, pretty much like you have taken some drugs, actually endorphins are exactly that, drugs your body naturally produces. Similar to a runner’s high, I’m addicted to it, not the running, I’m a bit too busty for that, but inline skating, swimming, all that. Best feeling in the world. I once went for about 45 miles on inline skates, first to work out some frustrations from a (vanilla) job, but after about 20 miles and going through the pain barrier, I felt like I was flying and could go to the end of the world… Well the end of the world were the stairs to my flat at that time, the moment I stopped moving and sat down, I just couldn’t get up anymore, muscles locked and I crawled upstairs on all 4s, went into the bath tub and had a hard time getting out again… Luckily it was a Friday, but I think that was one weekend I seemed to have slept through completely… Oh and the pain in my legs on Monday, woahhhh….

Anyway, the endorphins released during BDSM play are similar to those released during sports, but your mental state is a bit different, you usually recover really well from a runner’s high without anything else. With BDSM it’s not just endorphins but also a lot of adrenaline, you’ve been flying high and the sensations stop, for some people that’s not a big deal, others get a sub-drop (btw there is also such a thing as top drop and it’s pretty grim) when they’re coming down to reality. OK, it’s only a chemical reaction but while you’re in the middle of it, it can feel pretty intense up to the point of feeling abandoned, depressive, not really in touch with yourself and the world.

OK, some of you don’t experience it, so just skip it, some people are in relationships and they get all the aftercare they need, if it’s not a problem, skip it.

Aftercare is mainly a problem for people who play casually or for clients at commercial dungeons.  It is pretty difficult to get proper after care after a commercial session. Now before anybody thinks this is against pro dommes, it’s not. Let me tell you a few facts:

-       If she’s an independent, chances are that she rents from somewhere, in case she is in the room longer than she booked it, they are going to charge her more, or in the worst case scenario they have already rented out the room for the next session – if the next session can’t happen, the dungeon owner will be unhappy, the other domme will be unhappy, her client will be unhappy – guess who they are going to take it out on? The domme you sessioned with! Guess who’s going to cover the costs? Exactly, the domme you sessioned with…

-       If she works in a house, if she doesn’t vacate the room in time, same thing, she could even lose her job over this.

I know aftercare is important but what does happen is, that usually people want to session around the same time, lunch break, after work, after dinner, basically whenever guys have an excuse to get away. Rents are quite high, now the rent for just a room is usually between 1/3^rd and half of the session price, dommes depend on taking the sessions within the time frame they have… They need to survive as well and pay their rents…

One of the things you should do is make sure that you are alright, even if your pro domme is not able to give you the aftercare. It’s easy to get on a high horse and demand that the domme gives you aftercare, but bear in mind you are having a professional relationship, you are paying her for the session, she’s not your life coach or your shrink.

So when you had a professional session and after you had the session you feel a bit disorientated, you are sad to the point of being depressed and close to tears, chances are that you are having sub drop, it’s a chemical reaction, being aware of it can help A LOT, just remember that it will pass, but you need to give yourself some time. In case you are prone to sub drop, give yourself some time after the session, take a walk, stop in a coffee shop and have a hot drink, maybe a light snack. Pamper yourself.

Try not to drive immediately after your sessions if you’re feeling low. Have a little ritual that helps you, make sure you clean yourself up, grab a drink – a non-alcoholic one would be good, water is excellent. Chances are you sweated a bit, you need to rehydrate, have a little walk.

A hot drink like a hot tea or chocolate will make you feel more comfortable, your favourite fruit, a small snack. It would help if you have comfortable clothes you can change into, have a hot bath, curl up with a good book.

Of course TLC is the best aftercare, one of the reasons why dommes often hug you when they are saying goodbye, it helps you to get you back to real life, gives you the “human touch” that will sustain you a bit. Remember we are not mind readers, we do not really know how you are going to react after a session.

In case you are having THE DROP, you need to be aware of it, you need to make allowances for it, if you know it’s going to happen and you are mentally prepared for it, it will hit you a lot less hard. Do whatever you need to do to feel good, breathing exercises are especially good, music, whatever works for you. Sub drop can cause your body a lot of stress, it’s not the first time that you experience stress, so you know what usually works for you. An idea might be to simply book a quick head massage – usually not too expensive in most cities – a while after your session and just enjoy being touched and relaxed.

In case you are having medical issues like diabetes, monitor your glucose levels closely and make allowances for that after your session. If you are feeling confused or not yourself DO NOT DRIVE.

We’re all adults, most of us have had the blues before, we’ve dealt with depressions and know what usually works for us, so just being prepared and having a few simple feel good rituals will usually work. In case you know your session will be more intense, you need to give yourself more time.

It would be a good idea to let the domme know and maybe arrange a time when she is not busy and can give you more aftercare, maybe be the last session of the day and then go for a drink together, so you’re still in her company and she can help you to come down….

More gender bending tips...

A bit more cross dressing help here…

I already told you that you need some clothes and until you have the perfect idea what your size is, keep it stretchy, looking like a sausage ready to burst isn’t a good look, doesn’t matter if you’re a biological woman or if you want to look like one, or if you just like wearing women’s clothes. In case you have an athletic build (lucky you) bulging biceps just don’t work when you’re trying to be feminine, same with the beer gut or hairy legs, I get to that later.

Shoes, not too high as you want to walk in them, in the pervious blog entry I talked about how to find shoes, the right size and heel height, so check that out, same goes for the wigs most of you will need. Again, eBay and other online stores are your friend if you are afraid to go shopping…

A few hints how to get more out of your session or how to enjoy a bit of cross dressing on your own… 

If you just like the transformation, I would recommend looking online for an open minded make-up artist, maybe somebody who is just starting out. Everybody needs a bit of extra in this economy and it’s a lot cheaper to see the make-up artist than to see a domme, apart from that, you can learn a lot from a make-up artist and that might cut down the time the domme takes until you’re ready, so you’re not paying for an hour and get maybe 30 minutes of play time out of it because getting you ready will take that long, you can get ready on your own and get more play time.

One thing that is super important is have a close shave, as close as you can get, stubbles under makeup don’t look great. 

If possible, have a good shave elsewhere too, as I said before, the Brazilian rain forest is only beautiful as the lung of the planet, not in your underpants… As for legs, well, hairy legs aren’t very feminine, now if you can’t shave your legs for some reason, try stockings or a pantyhose that is dark and thick (the higher the DEN – denier – number, the more opaque it is), go for at least 60 or 80 DEN, or support stockings. Additionally, thick stockings will also not rip quite as easily, so you’ll have them longer. When it comes to size, again be generous, models usually take their tights a size larger than they need because they don’t rip all that easy. If you’re a big guy, look online for female plus sizes.

You want a pair of breasts? You possibly think that I am joking, but get a bra and some balloons. The balloons you fill up with water and put them in the bra, this will also give you a good idea how female breasts feel and how much we girls carry on our chests… Of course you can get the plastic inlays and all that, but they tend to be much more expensive and you can’t experiment much with the size. Rule of thumb is, the bigger and broader you are, the more you can get away with big boobs, if you're slight of build and you try the balloons with gallons of water, you end up looking like that poor Lolo Ferrari. Though you can get bras relatively inexpensive on eBay, it can be a lot of fun to experiment with different breast sizes.

A little hint how to have breasts that are both the same size, don't rely on eye measurements, get a jug (no pun intended) with approximate measures and pour in the same amount in each balloon, or else you end up looking like a partially deflated inflatable doll - again, not a good look.

For a CD or TV to find a fitting bra, the underbust is the most important thing, that’s the number, so you basically measure where the band of the bra would go, check with the list which size you need and then check which cup size you want. The cup size is the letter. B and C are “regular” female bust sizes, if you want to  have big boobs, go D or DD, but your back won’t thank you ;)

Again, you can get a lot of bras online at sites like eBay and such, if you are worried about going into shops and getting measured.

The following 2 links will tell you how to find your ideal underbust size, which is the most important thing in a bra, and lucky guys, you can pick your own cup size and don’t have to worry about surgery…

http://www.silkcocoon.co.uk/index.cfm?page=size.cfm#stp1

http://www.dollhousebettie.com/index.php?option=com_myblog&Itemid=0&lang=en&show=198

Learning...

Learning…

I recently had this conversation with KKB, or “Her Majesty’s Plaything” as he’s known on Blogger, I’m not sure how it came about, I think we were talking about very young pro dommes and that it seems to be unfair to expect somebody who’s barely 18 to call all the shots and make wise choices… I mentioned that I usually get a bit creeped out when middle aged guys have this thing for barely legal girls, I always want to yell “Give them a chance to find their own sexuality first!” Oh and then we talked about how much more fun “older guys” are.

There really is something special about a guy who comes to a dungeon and knows what he likes, especially if he’s also a bit of a masochist. It’s not just all the actions, it’s also the fun of talking with somebody who has lived a bit and is interesting to talk to.

Anyway, most of the stuff I learned I didn’t learn from other dommes but actually from clients, there really is no better teacher than an experienced bottom. I first thought when I was telling some guys that I don’t feel ready to do certain things, that it would turn them off, but some of them were actually really cool with it and we sort of bartered. They showed me how to do some things and of course I didn’t charge them for teaching me. Usually worked out that they booked an hour and we did 90 minutes and I covered the rest of the dungeon rent myself. Seemed only fair.

I think some of them were grooming me to be their domme, and yeah, worked for both sides, I learned a lot and they enjoyed teaching me the basics and then letting me expand on it. I found those relationships just really really great. Another thing I look back at fondly… The excitement of learning new things and all that. I hope that doesn’t sound like I know it all, because that I definitely do not, but I sometimes wish I could revisit learning something completely new with the same zest and anticipation, but to be honest, while BDSM is and always was a part of my life, it’s just not that important anymore. I’m just not the kid in the sweetshop anymore who wants to try almost everything… On the other hand, while it’s a lot less, it’s also much more exciting, sort of a treat from time to time. I must have grown up while I wasn’t looking ;)

But I found a really cool video I enjoyed, nothing too raunchy, just BDSM through the history...

 

Dommes, escorts and everything in between

I’m so fed up with the whole “hierarchy” or imagined hierarchy in the adult industry, porn actresses believe they are above escorts, dommes believe they are better than escorts and look down on them, while escorts look down on dommes because they do all that “crazy and perverted shit”. Then of course you got the lifestyle dommes who think that all pro dommes are prostitutes and they can look down on the pro dommes… In case of the disgruntled life-style dommes, the answer is relatively simple, most pro-dommes are simply more attractive (they have to be, because guys don’t pick dommes for their unattractiveness) and usually have better fetish wear and equipment. The difference between a hobby cook and somebody who cooks for a living and can create a dish on command. So there is the problem with the life-stylers who dislike pros, well, nothing anybody can do about it, though I tend to not help out the ones who bitch that much about pros. Kinda pisses me off, because sorry gals, if you dislike them so much, you don’t want any help from an ex-pro. Now the other bit about dommes thinking they are high and mighty and so far above escorts, get a fucking grip. In case you’re in the U.S., do you really really think that when you get busted the cops care if you touched a guys penis to give him sexual gratification or pain? If you think they do, you really need a dose of reality. OK, you don’t have sex with them, they don’t penetrate you, don’t give them anything that ends with job, but you know what? Legally it doesn’t matter one bit if he has an orgasm or not, you touched his privates ZING… Now if you stuck needles into his dick, oh well, guess what, then you can also be done for all sorts of things, stuff like practising medicine without a license and all that jazz, so they come down on you like a ton of bricks. I totally get it that pro-dommes don’t do what escorts do, but that’s a personal choice, the law doesn’t see you as one bit different and it doesn’t make you better. Just think about it, if you get busted as a dominatrix, you can bet that your picture graces the tabloids, if you’re just an escort, unless you got high profile clients or you work in a high profile job otherwise, nobody gives a damn about it. In fact, people will feel a lot more sympathetic towards the “poor hooker” than towards the “dangerous perv in leather or latex”, simply because they don’t understand BDSM, but they understand sex drive and everybody likes to fuck! Instead of moaning and groaning and looking down at escorts, be damned glad that they are around and learn from them, because instead of bitching and fighting, they warn each other when it comes to stings or dangerous clients and know how to screen! And while we’re at it, isn’t the BDSM community always moaning about lack of tolerance? How about showing a bit more tolerance to others like escorts, you know, they’re also human beings, they got a story, there is a reason why they do what they do, just like you have a reason to do what you do and be a domme. And you know if another woman doesn’t have a problem with being an escort, who the hell are you to mind? Because the law treats you both as a prostitute, so get off your high horse, because there is nothing dominant about being deluded!