Sadly enough you encounter trolls about everywhere on the net, but it seems on BDSM boards seem to be a bit worse than anywhere else.
Lately MF has had a huge influx of trolls, just one guy really, maybe with another idiot riding the coat tails, but a number of names.
Usually it's easy to ignore them, but this time a domme was targeted in the worst way possible, having been on the receiving end of such a little campaign by some deranged stalker, I had a fair idea how alone and horrible she felt through this, it's honestly not pleasant and it can get you down.
A couple of posters complained that I'm fanning the flames and I just should ignore the trolls, they do have a point, but after talking to the woman who was targeted and she said it meant the world to her that I spoke up for her, she received a ton of private messages of support, but nobody said anything in public and it was grinding her down.
When it comes down to giving support to the person who's unjustly attacked, I rather take the risk of a bit of fanning, because if you are in that position, it's horrible and for the person who's under fire, a little bit of support can mean a hell lot.
What I did in the end was make a post where I asked everybody to give a cheer for the domme being attacked, a ton of people joined in, she did feel better. So guys and girls, if you see some shit like that happening, some cyber-bullying or stalking, don't look away and just think ignoring them is enough, because for the victim and the abuser it looks like you're condoning their actions with silence.
Just my 5 cents
Showing posts with label BDSM 24/7. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BDSM 24/7. Show all posts
Sunday, 31 May 2015
Monday, 17 February 2014
Reviewing Dommes...
The subject popped up again on MF, some first time posters posting fake reviews, a few Dommes chimed in and said that they had fake bad reviews and everybody wanted to stone them over them despite the fact the reviews were simply so stupid and crazy (Irene Boss was accused of having bodies in her basement, I once had to deal with a dead mouse in the garage, the stink was horrible, imagine how bodies would smell, and yeah, bodies in the basement, logic place to store them...)
Coral Korrupt had a similar story, it was just rubbish, apparently she brutalized an unbound guy who didn't want to session with her (she's 5'2) and a ton more BS, turned out another woman pretended to be a client because she saw Coral as competition (to paraphrase Coral "Some batshit crazy psycho bitch").
Of course there might be the odd fake review painting somebody in glowing colours but people will take it with a pinch of salt, however if it's a negative review, everybody jumps on the woman and it seems to become a real witch hunt. Makes me sometimes wonder if those so called submissive guys aren't really the biggest misogynists on the planet and simply hate women, especially dominant women. Some really weird knee jerk reaction.
I'm surprised how many women don't even ask questions but suck up to the guys, even if things don't sound right. I mean honestly, that reeks of desperation, you need a session so badly? Also what is bad for one woman in the business is bad for the rest, you're giving those guys the power to bully WOMEN.
Heaven knows I am by no means a female supremacist (the idea that a vagina makes somebody superior is a bit ridiculous), but for the drug riddled Lush, I would possibly qualify as a femnazi, simply because I believe in equality.
Don't get me wrong, a role play about female supremacy is super hot, I can dig that, also if we're in the dungeon, I'm the boss, you tell me your limits before, we have a talk, but once we're on the same page, it's not a democracy anymore. That's just how things work, otherwise it would hardly be domination, it would be "and how may I dominate you today, Sir?" Gag, puke, yawn....
I'm not saying that every session is perfect, most definitely not, and it's alright to say so, sometimes you have no chemistry, can't be helped, sometimes she might be unskilled or not listening, then by all means say something, but do it quick. If it happens in the first half of the session, ask for part of the tribute back, it's only fair. You're an adult, you mad the choice to see somebody who does provide an adult service, you want to get what you pay for and what was agreed. But don't go through the whole session without letting her know that it doesn't work for you and then ruin her reputation online, that's a bit shitty, and frankly, the action of a coward!
I said it before you have to communicate clearly what you want, there is really nothing more frustrating than a client who doesn't tell you what he wants, I ranted about that before:
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/what-do-you-really-want.html
Then you have to do your homework, make sure you find the right Domme, the perfect session doesn't just happen, it needs your input too
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/the-perfect-session.html
Be a freaking adult, you are responsible for yourself, your Domme isn't your mom
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/im-your-domme-not-your-mom.html
Avoid subfrenzy and wearing blinkers
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/safety-in-bdsm-sub-frenzy-and-meeting.html
And of course don't fall in love with your Domme, just don't do it!
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/ever-fallen-in-love-with-pro-domme.html
If you've done all of that and you did your part, and it's still a shit session, then write a bad review, not before...
And btw I found a very interesting article which is from an escort site but I found it was really an eye opener, and how some guys just dehumanize women. Don't be that guy, OK!
http://titsandsass.com/we-need-a-better-review-culture/
Coral Korrupt had a similar story, it was just rubbish, apparently she brutalized an unbound guy who didn't want to session with her (she's 5'2) and a ton more BS, turned out another woman pretended to be a client because she saw Coral as competition (to paraphrase Coral "Some batshit crazy psycho bitch").
Of course there might be the odd fake review painting somebody in glowing colours but people will take it with a pinch of salt, however if it's a negative review, everybody jumps on the woman and it seems to become a real witch hunt. Makes me sometimes wonder if those so called submissive guys aren't really the biggest misogynists on the planet and simply hate women, especially dominant women. Some really weird knee jerk reaction.
I'm surprised how many women don't even ask questions but suck up to the guys, even if things don't sound right. I mean honestly, that reeks of desperation, you need a session so badly? Also what is bad for one woman in the business is bad for the rest, you're giving those guys the power to bully WOMEN.
Heaven knows I am by no means a female supremacist (the idea that a vagina makes somebody superior is a bit ridiculous), but for the drug riddled Lush, I would possibly qualify as a femnazi, simply because I believe in equality.
Don't get me wrong, a role play about female supremacy is super hot, I can dig that, also if we're in the dungeon, I'm the boss, you tell me your limits before, we have a talk, but once we're on the same page, it's not a democracy anymore. That's just how things work, otherwise it would hardly be domination, it would be "and how may I dominate you today, Sir?" Gag, puke, yawn....
I'm not saying that every session is perfect, most definitely not, and it's alright to say so, sometimes you have no chemistry, can't be helped, sometimes she might be unskilled or not listening, then by all means say something, but do it quick. If it happens in the first half of the session, ask for part of the tribute back, it's only fair. You're an adult, you mad the choice to see somebody who does provide an adult service, you want to get what you pay for and what was agreed. But don't go through the whole session without letting her know that it doesn't work for you and then ruin her reputation online, that's a bit shitty, and frankly, the action of a coward!
I said it before you have to communicate clearly what you want, there is really nothing more frustrating than a client who doesn't tell you what he wants, I ranted about that before:
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/what-do-you-really-want.html
Then you have to do your homework, make sure you find the right Domme, the perfect session doesn't just happen, it needs your input too
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/the-perfect-session.html
Be a freaking adult, you are responsible for yourself, your Domme isn't your mom
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/im-your-domme-not-your-mom.html
Avoid subfrenzy and wearing blinkers
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/safety-in-bdsm-sub-frenzy-and-meeting.html
And of course don't fall in love with your Domme, just don't do it!
http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/ever-fallen-in-love-with-pro-domme.html
If you've done all of that and you did your part, and it's still a shit session, then write a bad review, not before...
And btw I found a very interesting article which is from an escort site but I found it was really an eye opener, and how some guys just dehumanize women. Don't be that guy, OK!
http://titsandsass.com/we-need-a-better-review-culture/
Thursday, 13 February 2014
Kinky Valentine's Day
I want a Valentine's gift from you, seriously, I'm going all demanding domme on you, please me, do something for me!
Go on, I really really want something!
An animal charity here in the UK was badly hit by the storms and the rain, they had to move the horses they have rescued and rented stables, the hay, straw and feed they had is gone, and it about cleaned them out. I know them really well because I occasionally fostered a dog for them, they are great people who have day jobs and use their own money to support the animals (one of them works at night as a nurse and by day looks after the animals, they don't pay themselves wages like some other charities do where more goes to supporting the life-style of a CEO than to the animals), they are a registered charity, not some scam outfit. I basically put the link everywhere, on my twitter, FB, even LinkedIn. I am just trying to help them spread it, in the hope they might get the odd donation. Doesn't matter if you can't afford to give them anything, if you're putting the link out and ask friends to do the same, there might be somebody who sees it who can afford to put the odd $ or 2 in.
And even if you read that some time later, just share the link, it's OK if you can't donate (but if you can, I am really really grateful to you, even if it is just $1 or £1), if you want something from me, send me a message and if I can I will do it, Skype session, no fucking problem, you're in the UK and want your ass spanked, whipped, beaten, I will do it, I'll send you socks, pantyhoses, stockings, underwear if that's what you're into.
Let me know what you want to read about and I'll write about it, I promise.
Just fucking help them out! PLEASE!
Please spread that link through your social media, nobody will know or care if comes from a vanilla or a kink account. Nobody knows you got it from here. I hammered the shit out of it through my kink network, my private vanilla network, my work network, that is more vanilla than you can imagine!
Just please, do it!
A very undomly PRETTY PLEASE?
Go on, I really really want something!
An animal charity here in the UK was badly hit by the storms and the rain, they had to move the horses they have rescued and rented stables, the hay, straw and feed they had is gone, and it about cleaned them out. I know them really well because I occasionally fostered a dog for them, they are great people who have day jobs and use their own money to support the animals (one of them works at night as a nurse and by day looks after the animals, they don't pay themselves wages like some other charities do where more goes to supporting the life-style of a CEO than to the animals), they are a registered charity, not some scam outfit. I basically put the link everywhere, on my twitter, FB, even LinkedIn. I am just trying to help them spread it, in the hope they might get the odd donation. Doesn't matter if you can't afford to give them anything, if you're putting the link out and ask friends to do the same, there might be somebody who sees it who can afford to put the odd $ or 2 in.
And even if you read that some time later, just share the link, it's OK if you can't donate (but if you can, I am really really grateful to you, even if it is just $1 or £1), if you want something from me, send me a message and if I can I will do it, Skype session, no fucking problem, you're in the UK and want your ass spanked, whipped, beaten, I will do it, I'll send you socks, pantyhoses, stockings, underwear if that's what you're into.
Let me know what you want to read about and I'll write about it, I promise.
Just fucking help them out! PLEASE!
Please spread that link through your social media, nobody will know or care if comes from a vanilla or a kink account. Nobody knows you got it from here. I hammered the shit out of it through my kink network, my private vanilla network, my work network, that is more vanilla than you can imagine!
Just please, do it!
A very undomly PRETTY PLEASE?
http://tinyurl.com/on992ct
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
TPE - Take over my life...
Honestly, I think everybody had that fantasy at least once or twice, on both sides of the whip, but it unless you're independently wealthy and live and breathe BDSM all day long, it's possibly the most impractical idea ever. Something for day-dreamers or people who aren't too well adjusted when it comes to reality.
It makes for a great fantasy and it makes for a really cool role play, maybe even for a great BDSM vacation or weekend, but day in day out, I just can't see it...
Imagine you're a normal couple, chances are that you're both working, at work - unless you are self-employed - you have a boss who is in control and makes the rules, plus at work you want to concentrate on work and not your private kink. Trust me, I'm very kink friendly but if I would have to work with somebody who's kink would interfere with the work, I'd be everything else but pleased and point out that they should get their sexual thrills at home, the time they're paid to work, they owe their full time and effort to the person who pays.
For it to be real and total power exchange, one person has absolute control, it can be hot for a short time, but if you want it as 24/7 you would have to micromanage and that's just a hell lot of work.
Of course you can agree to your own version of TPE, for example where the sub has a certain amount of freedom and the dominant trusts him or her to make the right decisions, however real life has a way of interfering in that.
In case the submissive is married or in a relationship with somebody else, TPE can't work, it's conflicting commitments and it's seriously unfair to the spouse (unless the spouse is happy with it too), who's relationship would have some serious interference by the dominant.
When it comes down to it, we all have lives outside of D/s and I really wouldn't want to deal with anybody who doesn't have another life and everything is just BDSM, they don't tend to be the most well adjusted people, to be honest, they'd drive me crazy. Apart from the fact that somebody who would agree to TPE without limits is possibly somebody who doesn't value their safety and life at all, and the TOTAL in TPE basically means that there can't be limits or else it wouldn't be a total power exchange.
For me TPE is just another one of those buzz words, a fantasy far too many people take far too seriously, trust me BDSM and D/s can be very enjoyable with only a limited amount of power exchange and without dramatic labels, all it requires is to be an adult and responsible and not let your fantasy run away with you.
Like slavery, power exchange in BDSM is completely voluntary, so we are playing with a fantasy concept anyway, something no lawyer could push through, it's two or more adults agreeing to something because it's what they want and crave. To give up power and free will in certain circumstances with a trusted partner is absolutely cool, but I'm getting fed up with people using TPE as an excuse for bad choices or letting your libido overrule your common sense. Even if you have agreed to TPE, you haven't agreed to be a mindless robot, you're still responsible. BDSM is a game for adults, if you can't act like an adult, sorry, you really shouldn't be part of it! It goes back to "I'm your domme and not your mom!"
It makes for a great fantasy and it makes for a really cool role play, maybe even for a great BDSM vacation or weekend, but day in day out, I just can't see it...
Imagine you're a normal couple, chances are that you're both working, at work - unless you are self-employed - you have a boss who is in control and makes the rules, plus at work you want to concentrate on work and not your private kink. Trust me, I'm very kink friendly but if I would have to work with somebody who's kink would interfere with the work, I'd be everything else but pleased and point out that they should get their sexual thrills at home, the time they're paid to work, they owe their full time and effort to the person who pays.
For it to be real and total power exchange, one person has absolute control, it can be hot for a short time, but if you want it as 24/7 you would have to micromanage and that's just a hell lot of work.
Of course you can agree to your own version of TPE, for example where the sub has a certain amount of freedom and the dominant trusts him or her to make the right decisions, however real life has a way of interfering in that.
In case the submissive is married or in a relationship with somebody else, TPE can't work, it's conflicting commitments and it's seriously unfair to the spouse (unless the spouse is happy with it too), who's relationship would have some serious interference by the dominant.
When it comes down to it, we all have lives outside of D/s and I really wouldn't want to deal with anybody who doesn't have another life and everything is just BDSM, they don't tend to be the most well adjusted people, to be honest, they'd drive me crazy. Apart from the fact that somebody who would agree to TPE without limits is possibly somebody who doesn't value their safety and life at all, and the TOTAL in TPE basically means that there can't be limits or else it wouldn't be a total power exchange.
For me TPE is just another one of those buzz words, a fantasy far too many people take far too seriously, trust me BDSM and D/s can be very enjoyable with only a limited amount of power exchange and without dramatic labels, all it requires is to be an adult and responsible and not let your fantasy run away with you.
Like slavery, power exchange in BDSM is completely voluntary, so we are playing with a fantasy concept anyway, something no lawyer could push through, it's two or more adults agreeing to something because it's what they want and crave. To give up power and free will in certain circumstances with a trusted partner is absolutely cool, but I'm getting fed up with people using TPE as an excuse for bad choices or letting your libido overrule your common sense. Even if you have agreed to TPE, you haven't agreed to be a mindless robot, you're still responsible. BDSM is a game for adults, if you can't act like an adult, sorry, you really shouldn't be part of it! It goes back to "I'm your domme and not your mom!"
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