It's not Dungeon and Dragons, Sparky

Let me start this off with the disclaimer, that I am not having a rant at male dominants, there are some really great Doms out there, with some of them I'm friends, but some of them (and oddly enough a higher percentage than you find with women) are a few planks short of a full tree house.

On one of the boards where I sometimes look and occasionally participate, there is a guy who complains that in 22 years he hasn't found a slave and it's all down to fakes and he's discriminated because he's disabled.

Every sympathy for somebody who is disabled, definitely doesn't make it easier for him, but even if he was able bodied, what he's looking for is simply unrealistic.

The guy is gay (nothing wrong with it), has a preference for black men (again, we all have preferences and what we are attracted to), so far so good.

Only then he decides he doesn't want just one slave, he wants several of them, his own personal little harem and how he is living the Master/slave life-style not just in the bedroom, and that's where I want to shake him and have a reality check, and go "Sorry dear, but you are not really LIVING the life-style, you're dreaming it, big big difference!"

So, somebody without any experience is declaring himself an experienced Master and complains that slaves aren't lining up around the block. Well, what a surprise that is, really....

It gets better, he also has certain expectations of the jobs the slaves should have, nothing dramatic, really, just your run of the mill, not quite college drop out jobs:

• Programmers


• Database Designers


• CAD Designers


• Animators


• Illustrators


• Editors/proofreader/scriptwriters

Apart from handing over their salaries, using their job skills for him too, they also have to do household chores and gardening.

I read through his journal and I really understand why he needs a proofreader, it was hard going (btw nobody is "dominate" you can be dominant, one of my pet peeves), but it really looks like he is living in some weird fantasy land, some drivel about being the leader of a pack of wolves, with all his slaves (so far non-existant) being his 2nd line of defense.

I copy and paste part of the journal entry:


I  think the following passage about myself speaks for itself which is taken from a note I sent to an acquaintance recently.  I felt I had to share it here.

"As I build my company I want my project team to be a tight pack, but not constricted by creativity.  I want them to be passionate about what I want. Recently I had to do a paper on a leader as it relates to my college program (database management) and  what I wanted professionally. I wound up choosing Larry Ellison (Oracle fame) and found I hated him very much for his professionalism - or lack there of.  I never want to become this type of corporate owner.

YES I am dominate,

YES I know what I want,

YES I want a second line pack following behind me like a pack of defensive wolves,

BUT NO, I do not have to be a selfish pompous jerk about it."

That was actually some of the sanest drivel he put in there, it's nice to dream about a business empire, but if you're living of social security, maybe the first move would be to do something that makes you able to support yourself.
Yes, disability makes it harder, but the idea of finding a bunch of slaves who will all work for him for free, is not really based in reality, and so far it hasn't worked for him. And he does sound like a selfish, pompous jerk.

We all know what we want, I really want to win the damned lottery (maybe I should start playing then), I really want mansions all over the planet in all my fave cities, that private plane, the cosy little castle, my own private island (hello Mr Branson, how about Necker Island?), gosh, I guess I am not "dominate" enough for it, because in the meantime, I'm still working, because the damned mortgage for the house needs to be paid off.

Oh well, a great deal of people aren't too well adjusted or don't play with a full deck of cards, I guess it's really unrealistic to expect everybody who's into BDSM to be in touch with reality...


Btw a pretty good example of how it can be different is this erotic photo blog, it shows how BDSM can be a loving relationship and that not all Doms are a bit "mentally challenged":

Downright Debauchery

A bit of help for masochists ;)

Masochist’s handbook ;)

Quite a few of you guys are masochists but you can’t afford to come home with marks, well, there is help for that guys…

Oh you won’t like this, but actually if you do work out and you are fairly fit, you don’t bruise quite as easily as if you’re a bit flabby, so hit the gym. Your domme might actually enjoy it (firm flesh is a bit nicer to touch and to violate) and – don’t discount this at all – the spouse might as well and it might just give your dormant sex life a bit of a kick…. That additional blubber you carry with you – makes you bruise a lot easier…

In case you’re going for a CP session, start stepping up on the pineapple, it doesn’t help if you eat it the day before but if you have a little bit about a week before, it does reduce bruising A LOT. So before you go to a session, a week before knock the booze on the head, start taking vitamin C, pineapple juice is especially good, treat yourself to a lot of vitamins (C, E, K and zinc), bruises are broken capillaries, you want to strengthen them.

In case you’re taking Aspirn or any other medication that thins the blood or pain killers (ibuprofen as well), you will bruise a lot easier, so if you don’t need it for medical reasons, deal with the headache, a lot better for your blood vessels and bruising.

Knock the booze, yep, just that beer with friends and stuff, skip it because it’s also helping you get bruised, give your liver a rest.

There are 1001 ways to make you scream and hurt you that doesn’t leave marks, but you might not enjoy them quite as much as a cane or a whip, so in some cases electricity it out.

Well a good way to not bruise is starting slow, get the circulation going, a proper warm up and you will not bruise quite as easily. There are ways to help you there too, you know this marvellous stuff called deep heat, not the stuff you can buy everywhere, the really heavy stuff, works wonders, everything will feel so much more intense. Japanese mint oil works too, additionally you do have the nice pain when you wash it off, hot and cold will just be soooooo much more intense.

My personal recommendation would be deep heat (google finalgon and go for extra strong, it’s a present your domme will like) put on after a hot shower, then some saran wrap, making you sweat a bit more and warming you up, the combination of the deep heat and the saran wrap will make it quite difficult for your tissue to bruise, but it will be fucking painful – don’t thank me now, thank me later ;) And mind the cuss words….

In case it has gone wrong and you are bruised, well darling, find excuses to turn out the light, but you can do a lot to minimize the time it takes to get back to normal.

First of all find a sun bed, yep, helps, dunno why but the bruises will fade a lot quicker, then drink pineapple juice, have some aloe vera cream at hand, and – not kidding you – wear a pantyhose. The mesh actually massages your tissue and gets rid of the bruising a lot quicker, who knows, you might actually enjoy wearing one underneath your clothes.

If you are caught in a pinch, anything that firms up female skin and works against cellulite also helps to minimize bruising, simply because it increases the circulation and bruises are bust blood vessels, the more circulation you have, the quicker it gets repaired. Makes sense, doesn’t it? So the shower scrubs, the lotions you have to rub in and all that, go for them, along with a sun bed and the pair of tights underneath your clothes, the bruises (until it’s serious deep tissue bruising) should disappear in 2 to 3 days. Hit the gym, work out, anything to get your circulation going and apply vitamin K creams.

As first aid, raise the bruised area above heart level (yes, ass in the air) apply some ice cubes in a towel, bandage with an elastic bandage, apply vitamin K cream, arnica creams help as well, then back to wearing pantyhose.

An additional tip, pinch yourself (I know it’s a good reality check but that is not the reason), pinch the area where you are planning on receiving CP, how does the tissue react? Goes back immediately without any discolouration – congratulations, it looks like you have pretty good tissue!

Hope that helps… Wouldn’t want you to be caught and having to explain why you have very strange bruises from a good caning or whipping ;)