Trolls on BDSM boards

Sadly enough you encounter trolls about everywhere on the net, but it seems on BDSM boards seem to be a bit worse than anywhere else.

Lately MF has had a huge influx of trolls, just one guy really, maybe with another idiot riding the coat tails, but a number of names.

Usually it's easy to ignore them, but this time a domme was targeted in the worst way possible, having been on the receiving end of such a little campaign by some deranged stalker, I had a fair idea how alone and horrible she felt through this, it's honestly not pleasant and it can get you down.

A couple of posters complained that I'm fanning the flames and I just should ignore the trolls, they do have a point, but after talking to the woman who was targeted and she said it meant the world to her that I spoke up for her, she received a ton of private messages of support, but nobody said anything in public and it was grinding her down.

When it comes down to giving support to the person who's unjustly attacked, I rather take the risk of a bit of fanning, because if you are in that position, it's horrible and for the person who's under fire, a little bit of support can mean a hell lot.

What I did in the end was make a post where I asked everybody to give a cheer for the domme being attacked, a ton of people joined in, she did feel better. So guys and girls, if you see some shit like that happening, some cyber-bullying or stalking, don't look away and just think ignoring them is enough, because for the victim and the abuser it looks like you're condoning their actions with silence.

Just my 5 cents

The perfect session

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How to…

Well how to have the perfect session is one of the questions that gets asked frequently, and to be honest, I can’t give you any guarantees, nobody can. It does help if you communicate clearly what you are looking for, do your research and keep a clear head, and be aware that there is a difference between fantasy and reality. In your fantasy something might be really really exciting, in reality the pain or whatever activity was so exciting in your fantasy, simply might not turn you on

I know it can be taunting and actually quite embarrassing to phrase what you want, your doubts and your insecurities, but trust me, most dommes have heard it all. What’s better, being embarrassed for 5 minutes or spending 2 or 300 bucks for a session that didn’t quite turn out as you planned because you didn’t tell her?

Sessions really depend so much on chemistry, I always find it so funny if people ask me what my all time favourite activity is, I honestly can’t tell you, because it depends so much on the person I play with. Something that has me more or less salivating with somebody, it can leave me completely cold with somebody else.

So when it comes to booking sessions, I would seriously recommend to look for somebody who has similar interests, but even more than that, somebody you have a vibe with.  Looks have a lot to do with it, but don’t get hung up on looks, model looks don’t automatically mean a great session, as long as you are attracted to the domme, that’s really all it takes.

Over the years, I have seen some really stunning women, of course guys will flock to them first, but more than once the same guys came out of a session with a long face. All too often they just relied on their looks. That’s not to say that every gorgeous domme doesn’t know what she is doing, some are amazing, but you have to talk to them, find out about them and if they’d be right for you. Does she listen to what you are looking for and actually talk to you, asks questions and makes sure she understands it?

Seeing a domme is a bit like going to a restaurant, if you don’t like rice, best avoid Asian restaurants, if you don’t like it spicy, Mexican is possibly out…  You do your research and you are trying to find a dish that you will like. It’s really not so different.

Or imagine buying a suit or shoes, one pair might look great but they just don’t fit right…

Talk to a few dommes, get a feel for them, you don’t have to waste their time but you can have interactions with them. Trust your gut feeling, but remember, it’s a session, it’s really not a life-partner. And also bear in mind that your fantasies are almost always a lot better, fantasies don’t hurt, everything happens just like you want it to happen. Unless you find a domme who’s also a mind reader, it’s not very likely that it will happen in session just as perfect as in your fantasy. Try and be open minded and get her input, she might have some ideas herself… In case she doesn’t, well, do you want to spend money on somebody who doesn’t even want to give you input?

The sad reality is there really is no guarantee for a stellar session, but you can do your part to minimize the risk a bit. Also if you are not too hung up on your fantasy and open minded about letting the domme work within a range, you might do a lot better if you’re open minded and you don’t want your fantasy replicated in real life, that’s almost always a recipe for disaster. Even if you have experience and you’re looking for another domme, take each woman as a new experience and not a replacement for the previous domme, you get much more out of it this way!

Basically getting a good session is a bit of a gamble, most of the sessions where guys claimed they were stellar (apart from the usual BS when they are still flying high on endorphins and you have to take it with a grain of salt anyway), looking back, from just the activities they weren’t all that stellar or outrageous, we just happened to have fairly good chemistry, which often really makes all the difference.