Done the bone marrow donation, I'll never ever again trust a doctor who says there is some discomfort involved, what they mean is pain, though it's over really quick, it was more the shock of expecting a bit of discomfort. Afterwards a bit of sickness but again, not a bad trade off for a life.
After I was back, there was a hell lot to do, then one of the dogs was badly bitten and after the surgery (they had to remove a tooth as the bite damaged the root of the tooth) he kept limping, on and off for weeks, vet thought a slipped disk, turned out being a massive tumor inside his spine, basically bone marrow cancer. We were gutted and did the right thing, we let him go gently before he started to suffer, he went with a belly full of all his favorite foods and I was blubbling like a baby at the vets. The other 2 dogs, the girl took it badly, even months later she's still searching for him and even one of the cats sometimes looks for his friend...
A few weeks after that a rescue called us, if we could take in a puppy, already had 4 or 5 homes, we decided to foster (he's now a failed foster) but damned, we expected a puppy Dobie and not a dog the size of a horse and growing. Due to having spent his previous 10 months just in cages, he was absolutely hyper, also had no training. I lost quite a bit of size...
A month ago, taking the dogs out, they found a homeless guy who was near fainting from hunger and cold, his hands were badly infected, he tried to find shelter and touched fiber glass, dragged him home and he's in our guest room, that's how I became aware of the massive massive problem with homelessness we have in the UK. V is healing nicely, mentally and physically and we are trying to get him back into the system. The system is fucked up, he got injured while working, then lost the job as he couldn't work, couldn't pay his rent, lost the flat, had no address so didn't get the letters and they just took him off benefits, he lived on the streets for 3 years and survived by dumpster diving. Super nice guy who's great helping me with the dogs and started to do little DIY projects we had put off and off due to a busy work life and maybe general laziness.
I tweeted a bit about him, since I wasn't aware of the problem, I thought others also might not know how bad it is or how easy it is to fall through the cracks of the UK system, I found a blog of a guy who's homeless in another part of the country and blogs from the library or the homeless drop in. It's worth a read
https://homelessandsad.wordpress.com/
He's done a fund raiser and with a few friends we decided that this weekend we will ask everybody to maybe have one drink less (liver and head will thank you) and donate the money to his fund, so he can rent a place and gets off the streets and from there on can get a job again, he's willing to do just about anything but without an address and obviously being homeless, not a chance.
In case you want to join in (doesn't matter how little, he's so happy about people caring) I'll give you that link too, if you don't even have $5, then please do share the link and make people aware!
https://www.generosity.com/community-fundraising/desperately-need-help--3
Thanks for reading!
Rants and Musings about BDSM and the word
Weird memoirs in a way...
Friday 15 April 2016
Friday 26 June 2015
Gutted
Since my last blog post Coral died, it's been a while but I felt somewhat numb, we never had met face to face but exchanged a lot of messages, mails and phone calls over the years, just when it looked like she was catching a break, things turned bad. I know it's the nature of cancer but she was so vibrant and alive, it felt like I was sucker punched.
The worst part was, I'm in LA, nobody I can really talk about it to, taking care of a friend who has considerable health problems, tons of chaos, trying to sort things out, then there is work....
The oddest thing happened though, a friend's sister has leukemia, due to having mild lupus and a ton of antibodies due to hashimoto's (some weird thyroid thing where your body produces antibodies against your own thyroid hormones) and being gluten intolerant, I always thought I wouldn't be suitable as a bone marrow donor, guess what, change of thyroid medication and my antibodies are all in remission and almost non-existant and 99% of all autoimmune diseases have related antibodies, since our blood groups and a ton of other medicial stuff lines up, including the type of antibodies I used to have, it makes me such a good match that yeah, I'm going in. It sounds stupid but the fact that they can tap me for something and somebody else can live, it helps. Of course I'm scared, I could so do with a drink (even if I hardly drink) and all of a sudden smoking looks so tempting, but I worked out like a maniac, lived super healthy, I mean if I'm doing it, I want to give it the best shot I got.
Sorry for the rant. I guess since day 0 is getting nearer and nearer, I'm just getting more and more nervous, I'm not going to whimp out as she is undergoing chemo in preparation for it, but shit, I'm really scared, I don't even know why.
The worst part was, I'm in LA, nobody I can really talk about it to, taking care of a friend who has considerable health problems, tons of chaos, trying to sort things out, then there is work....
The oddest thing happened though, a friend's sister has leukemia, due to having mild lupus and a ton of antibodies due to hashimoto's (some weird thyroid thing where your body produces antibodies against your own thyroid hormones) and being gluten intolerant, I always thought I wouldn't be suitable as a bone marrow donor, guess what, change of thyroid medication and my antibodies are all in remission and almost non-existant and 99% of all autoimmune diseases have related antibodies, since our blood groups and a ton of other medicial stuff lines up, including the type of antibodies I used to have, it makes me such a good match that yeah, I'm going in. It sounds stupid but the fact that they can tap me for something and somebody else can live, it helps. Of course I'm scared, I could so do with a drink (even if I hardly drink) and all of a sudden smoking looks so tempting, but I worked out like a maniac, lived super healthy, I mean if I'm doing it, I want to give it the best shot I got.
Sorry for the rant. I guess since day 0 is getting nearer and nearer, I'm just getting more and more nervous, I'm not going to whimp out as she is undergoing chemo in preparation for it, but shit, I'm really scared, I don't even know why.
Sunday 31 May 2015
Trolls on BDSM boards
Sadly enough you encounter trolls about everywhere on the net, but it seems on BDSM boards seem to be a bit worse than anywhere else.
Lately MF has had a huge influx of trolls, just one guy really, maybe with another idiot riding the coat tails, but a number of names.
Usually it's easy to ignore them, but this time a domme was targeted in the worst way possible, having been on the receiving end of such a little campaign by some deranged stalker, I had a fair idea how alone and horrible she felt through this, it's honestly not pleasant and it can get you down.
A couple of posters complained that I'm fanning the flames and I just should ignore the trolls, they do have a point, but after talking to the woman who was targeted and she said it meant the world to her that I spoke up for her, she received a ton of private messages of support, but nobody said anything in public and it was grinding her down.
When it comes down to giving support to the person who's unjustly attacked, I rather take the risk of a bit of fanning, because if you are in that position, it's horrible and for the person who's under fire, a little bit of support can mean a hell lot.
What I did in the end was make a post where I asked everybody to give a cheer for the domme being attacked, a ton of people joined in, she did feel better. So guys and girls, if you see some shit like that happening, some cyber-bullying or stalking, don't look away and just think ignoring them is enough, because for the victim and the abuser it looks like you're condoning their actions with silence.
Just my 5 cents
Lately MF has had a huge influx of trolls, just one guy really, maybe with another idiot riding the coat tails, but a number of names.
Usually it's easy to ignore them, but this time a domme was targeted in the worst way possible, having been on the receiving end of such a little campaign by some deranged stalker, I had a fair idea how alone and horrible she felt through this, it's honestly not pleasant and it can get you down.
A couple of posters complained that I'm fanning the flames and I just should ignore the trolls, they do have a point, but after talking to the woman who was targeted and she said it meant the world to her that I spoke up for her, she received a ton of private messages of support, but nobody said anything in public and it was grinding her down.
When it comes down to giving support to the person who's unjustly attacked, I rather take the risk of a bit of fanning, because if you are in that position, it's horrible and for the person who's under fire, a little bit of support can mean a hell lot.
What I did in the end was make a post where I asked everybody to give a cheer for the domme being attacked, a ton of people joined in, she did feel better. So guys and girls, if you see some shit like that happening, some cyber-bullying or stalking, don't look away and just think ignoring them is enough, because for the victim and the abuser it looks like you're condoning their actions with silence.
Just my 5 cents
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Thursday 21 May 2015
Back for a while
Sorry, vanilla commitments have taken over again, work, family, pets, friends, we had a bunch of stuff happening so blogging had to take a backseat and instead of just ranting, I rather said nothing.
Anyway, some of you might remember Coral, a great Domme, she has cancer and is not doing very well, the co-pays for the treatments literally kill her.
In case any of you can find it in their hearts to donate, please do, it's possible to do it anonymously, it doesn't matter how much or little it is, just the fact that you are willing to donate might give somebody who's battling chemo and stage 4 cancer a boost, having donated an ovary to the big C, I can honestly tell you if you're battling cancer you need every boost you can get.
http://www.gofundme.com/coralscancer
Anyway, some of you might remember Coral, a great Domme, she has cancer and is not doing very well, the co-pays for the treatments literally kill her.
In case any of you can find it in their hearts to donate, please do, it's possible to do it anonymously, it doesn't matter how much or little it is, just the fact that you are willing to donate might give somebody who's battling chemo and stage 4 cancer a boost, having donated an ovary to the big C, I can honestly tell you if you're battling cancer you need every boost you can get.
http://www.gofundme.com/coralscancer
Tuesday 20 May 2014
We're getting there
Monty's been castrated, had his hormone controlling shots, the vet recommended it, said if we wait until the testosterone wears off naturally, he might go through a rollercoaster and it could upset all the progress we've made so far, so we went with that. Of course the little bugger managed to bust his stitches, we walked him on a short leash, kept him in the house, but it didn't stop him from jumping around like crazy in our living room.
The training is going well, he's settled in, he looks quite happy now and is a pushy little bugger, not coming out of his shell, he's exploding out of it. It's bedlam with 3 dogs, I need an extra hand for the fuss and strokes they demand.
So yeah, not sitting around being lazy, having my hands full and managed to rehome a few other dogs.
If you want to put it into BDSM terms, I'm having an alpha bitch and 2 laid back, quite submissive boys...
Don't ask me about feeding and vet costs, LOL, but they're so worth it!
The training is going well, he's settled in, he looks quite happy now and is a pushy little bugger, not coming out of his shell, he's exploding out of it. It's bedlam with 3 dogs, I need an extra hand for the fuss and strokes they demand.
So yeah, not sitting around being lazy, having my hands full and managed to rehome a few other dogs.
If you want to put it into BDSM terms, I'm having an alpha bitch and 2 laid back, quite submissive boys...
Don't ask me about feeding and vet costs, LOL, but they're so worth it!
Monday 12 May 2014
There's been a good reason...
Again, sorry that I was silent for a while, but I was simply swamped with vanilla work and a new member of the family, we managed to pull a dog who was due for PTS from the pound via an animal charity.
A long trip to another part of the UK for H, somebody held the boy for us, he arrived in the middle of the night with a Dobie cross that brought tears to everybody's eyes, it looked like a dog skeleton covered in moth eaten fur. Apparently he was 6 or 7 and neutered, well, he's due to be neutered on the 15th, and I had booked him into the vet for the next day, and according to our vet about 3, maximum 4, he was just in a terrible state. The poor guy had cigarette burns on his balls, his legs, the vet also found evidence (scars) of him being shocked with a cattle prod, old injuries and fractures that healed by themselves, he was parasite ridden, severe chemical burns on his anus and colon, apparently they put something up his butt to make him aggressive, as he was apparently used for illegal hunting.
Apart from work, most of my time was really dedicated to get the poor boy back to health, my 2 Dobies adopted him and help with training, he came with no commands, wasn't house trained, but we're getting there. He's slowly learning how to live with cats (luckily he hates water spray and does about everything for affection), once he's castrated he'll calm down even more, but we had to put that on the backburner, as the vet said he was too weak and wouldn't survive a surgery.
We originally planned to just foster him, but he's such a little heart breaker and has bonded so much with us and our lot, that it looks like he's becoming a permanent fixture.
Of course this happened right on the heels of being diagnosed gluten intolerant, which required a few major life-style changes, a few work things that needed immediate attention - so it never rains, it always kinda pours...
It's been a bit of a rocky road with both H and myself ending in the ER, simple accidents of new boy Monty lunging for the cat and we got our hands in between, but again, a good trainer and working with a dog can solve almost every problem. Can't blame the dog for something some horrible abuser programmed him to do and the deprogramming works just fine. I got some furs and a teddy bear, he learned to not lunge at small fury things that move and gets rewarded with cuddles and praise and it does work like a charm.
Now what I would really like is to find the ex-owner, have some private time with him and a cattle prod, and a good alibi... And nope, it wouldn't be kinky in the slightest...
Anyway, here's Monty, how he arrived and how he looks now. Amazes me how humans can abuse an animal so badly and the animal still trusts...
A long trip to another part of the UK for H, somebody held the boy for us, he arrived in the middle of the night with a Dobie cross that brought tears to everybody's eyes, it looked like a dog skeleton covered in moth eaten fur. Apparently he was 6 or 7 and neutered, well, he's due to be neutered on the 15th, and I had booked him into the vet for the next day, and according to our vet about 3, maximum 4, he was just in a terrible state. The poor guy had cigarette burns on his balls, his legs, the vet also found evidence (scars) of him being shocked with a cattle prod, old injuries and fractures that healed by themselves, he was parasite ridden, severe chemical burns on his anus and colon, apparently they put something up his butt to make him aggressive, as he was apparently used for illegal hunting.
Apart from work, most of my time was really dedicated to get the poor boy back to health, my 2 Dobies adopted him and help with training, he came with no commands, wasn't house trained, but we're getting there. He's slowly learning how to live with cats (luckily he hates water spray and does about everything for affection), once he's castrated he'll calm down even more, but we had to put that on the backburner, as the vet said he was too weak and wouldn't survive a surgery.
We originally planned to just foster him, but he's such a little heart breaker and has bonded so much with us and our lot, that it looks like he's becoming a permanent fixture.
Of course this happened right on the heels of being diagnosed gluten intolerant, which required a few major life-style changes, a few work things that needed immediate attention - so it never rains, it always kinda pours...
It's been a bit of a rocky road with both H and myself ending in the ER, simple accidents of new boy Monty lunging for the cat and we got our hands in between, but again, a good trainer and working with a dog can solve almost every problem. Can't blame the dog for something some horrible abuser programmed him to do and the deprogramming works just fine. I got some furs and a teddy bear, he learned to not lunge at small fury things that move and gets rewarded with cuddles and praise and it does work like a charm.
Now what I would really like is to find the ex-owner, have some private time with him and a cattle prod, and a good alibi... And nope, it wouldn't be kinky in the slightest...
Anyway, here's Monty, how he arrived and how he looks now. Amazes me how humans can abuse an animal so badly and the animal still trusts...
Monday 21 April 2014
Here we go again...
I'm asking in a very undomly fashion for a fave, in case it floats your boat, I'll command it...
It's a simple click, an animal charity I volunteer for entered a picture of 2 of their dogs in a competition. Please vote for them (anonymous) and share on all sorts of social media to get people to vote for them.
The charity is run exclusively by volunteers, you can vote once every 24 hours. They need the money desperately to stay open and so pets that were chucked out (you know idiots who thought it would be cute to get an animal for xmas and now decided how inconvenient it is, they just abandoned them) find homes, get neutered, get their shots, get fed and all that...
No money goes to anybody working for them, it all goes to the animals, it's a click and takes seconds, please do vote for them and share on all of your social media!
http://bit.ly/1gMn1ve
It's a simple click, an animal charity I volunteer for entered a picture of 2 of their dogs in a competition. Please vote for them (anonymous) and share on all sorts of social media to get people to vote for them.
The charity is run exclusively by volunteers, you can vote once every 24 hours. They need the money desperately to stay open and so pets that were chucked out (you know idiots who thought it would be cute to get an animal for xmas and now decided how inconvenient it is, they just abandoned them) find homes, get neutered, get their shots, get fed and all that...
No money goes to anybody working for them, it all goes to the animals, it's a click and takes seconds, please do vote for them and share on all of your social media!
http://bit.ly/1gMn1ve
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