I'm your Domme, not your mom

A friend of mine brought that up today in a conversation, I'm jealous, that is such a great line and so true!

Guys, no ifs and no buts, unless you are into age play a good way to turn of female dominants is to expect them to coddle you, if we wanted to have children, we would have them, some of us might even have them, so really, we don't need a guy to behave like he can't tie his shoes himself and needs to be micromanaged 24/7.

If it's in a session and you both get off on it, wonderful, but I would really really freak out if somebody would expect me to micromanage him all the time, it's kinda nice having somebody with a brain, somebody you can also have a conversation with and not somebody who wants you to know when he's allowed to use the toilet (unless it's their kink - it certainly isn't mine, bowel functions are more of a turn off, we all have them but some bodily functions are in the realm of privacy, please don't over share).

Of course I am not speaking for all dommes and some might be into micromanagement, it's just not a hell lot of us are, really. Look at it practically, micromanaging you causes us a lot of work, we have to show you how something is done, we have to check that you are doing it right, we have to control you all the time, you know what? I rather do it myself, far less trouble and I don't have to bother with somebody getting underfoot.

Think about it this way, a submissive who's smart and attentive, that is sexy, that is a turn on, yup, does something for me, somebody who's dumb or dumbs down, not so much. If you'd be looking for a potential play partner or life partner, what would you be looking for? Somebody who is smart and clever, who's an asset, somebody you can be proud of, or a liability?

Say if you are a service sub, what service are you doing me if I have to watch you all the time? So I let you into my place (bit of a risk I took) and you're there and you want to be of service, I tell you to wash the dishes while I do something else and you interrupt me every 5 minutes asking me which dish you should wash first, within 30 minutes I want to throttle you and kick your ass out, and I am not talking breath play and abandonment fantasies, I'm telling you, there is nothing kinky about me being really really pissed off!

BDSM and Entitlement

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I used to be quite upset when dommes have an entitlement complex, but truth to be told, a lot of that “Give me, I’m a superior being” stuff is something that does turn guys on. They aren’t forced, most actually look for financial dommes and while it’s not a fetish I understand, but hey, if it makes people happy, who really cares. I don’t think there would be FinDommes out there without guys looking for them and yeah, giving them money.

There always have been guys out there who decided that domination or BDSM should be free and on demand, I might have the odd rant about that, but there is seriously nothing wrong with seeking a life-style domme, just don’t shoot yourself in the foot, here’s a little bit of a manual what might work and what might not work if you’re looking for one: http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/domination-owed.html

Though in general if you are married, the chances of finding a life-style domme are slim, she might want commitment and you have already committed to your wife, and you should take that commitment seriously. There are odd cases where the domme is OK with it, that’s usually when the wife is informed and OK with it. It’s a bit hard to have a trusting relationship with somebody who’s betraying the partner. Pro dommes don’t have (or shouldn’t have) expectations outside of the usual, you know that you are keeping appointments, that you are clean and that you pay. You pay because you don’t have any other commitments, pro dommes won’t call you up in the middle of the night because they can’t sleep and want to talk, they won’t call you up to help with something, the relationship is professional, you don’t pay with your time, you pay in coin.

But now you got a new breed, nasty sub who thinks he’s entitled to sessions and somebody else should pay for it. He’s a good person, honestly, he ONCE gave 20 bucks to a guy (or so he claims) and people give to sports and cheerleaders, so why shouldn’t they give to him and his selfish wishes? I wonder if he realizes that sports is public enjoyment, will he broadcast his free session to give back to his “sponsors”? That alone is a reason to not sponsor him, ewwww…

This is getting funnier and funnier

The government programs you mention that exist in the US are socialist programs. They are forms of collectivism. The government forcibly takes (via taxes) from one person to provide welfare for another person. For some reason, a government nanny state is okay but what I suggest is not.

So first he whines about the cruel world where people don’t care about his little bit of happiness, but he considers welfare as something evil? I guess the children should starve so he can have his session, it’s only evil and socialist if it’s for others, I get it…

Considering that he doesn’t work (he claims an “anxiety disorder”), I think he might be on one of those evil socialist programs, you know this form of collectivism where the government robs one person to give to another… But we always have to remember that he is a very good person, I mean ONCE he gave $20…

I was reminded of a friend who lived with us for about 18 months, the guy is an ex special forces soldier, severe post traumatic stress disorder, didn’t stop him from doing what he could, because he never wanted to pick up a gun, he worked on building sites, didn’t earn a lot of money. I met him a while before he moved in, he always seemed to be a very kind soul, always made a fuss over the dog (good way to get into my good graces) and then later again when he was screwed over, company he worked for had folded owing him a lot of money, he had applied for unemployment benefits but the paper work dragged on, in the meantime he had lost his place to live and was sleeping rough. We invited him in, as we have a room we don’t use, not too big, not too fancy, but warm with a bed and furniture. This guy who really barely could make ends meet offered to pay rent, we had to make up stories that he’s doing us a favor because we need somebody to dog and cat sit for him to accept to live rent free.

Why I bring it up? Because of the difference! Our friend had a dream (teaching English in China) and he worked his ass off, despite his disability, he didn’t expect people to buy him a ticket, he didn’t want hand-outs, he didn’t feel entitled to free stuff.

He is somebody people respect, somebody who actually does stuff, no excuses, doesn’t expect handouts or people paying for him, as a result and because he’s the first one to lend a helping hand, people go out of their way to make his life a bit easier and help him where they can. Funny how that works…

Another thing I noticed with the charmer, he claims to be a submissive, oddly enough he’s quite deferential to men but amazingly rude to women… Hypocritical much?

But clearly not his own fault that he doesn’t get a free session, the world owes him one, really, we should all stop being so damned unfeeling. Who’s going first? I guess the proper way to approach him for a free session would be “And how may I dominate you today, Sir? And how many hours of my own time would you like me to waste on you? Clearly anything I plan to do and any work are not as important as your desire to be dominated…”

I think I just threw up a little…

And in case you wondered, yeah, he is the same as this guy : http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/domination-owed.html

Hey he might want to ask the Dire Straits, you know, money for nothing and your chicks for free